he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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