when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
