YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
