My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
