Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
