definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
