remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
