he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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