if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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