girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
