I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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