when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
