Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
