I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
