I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
