Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I have fence marks all over my body
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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