Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I had to cum in my sink.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
