And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Is it penis luge time yet?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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