I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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