Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
