Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
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