My liver just broke up with me...
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
where am i from again
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
