I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
