i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
