Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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