Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
