Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
