Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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