and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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