I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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