dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
