don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
