:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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