K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
