i wish there were pregnant emoticons
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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