I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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