i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
