I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
