Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
