I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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