I have demons in me.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
