I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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