just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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