She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
