Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
