My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
