...so i touched it.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
