C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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