Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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