so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
