only if we run a train.
done.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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