If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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