a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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