Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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