He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
you never un-have a 4some
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
