Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
