you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
