We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
