The maid of honor just puked.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
