Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize