Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
