I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
