There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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