Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You may now shotgun with the bride
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
