I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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