no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
