Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
