im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
